Last Christmas my first cousin talked me into spending it with his family against my personal convictions. Since he has three children aged 15, 6 and 2, I busied myself with obtaining thoughtful and unique gifts for the children with whom I had become close with. I gave him and his wife several copies of the CDs I had professionally recorded of myself playing Christmas music on my accordion before I lost all interest in the holiday.

 I was told: "Your Christmas gift isn't ready yet" and then nothing further. My 49th birthday came two months later and my cousin in law (wife of cousin) "forgot" all about it. Not that I throw myself parties!

The next day she said;”Oh, Sorry. Happy Birthday." They throw themselves huge celebrations including hosting a party on the birthday of his estranged son, evening singing to him from 15 hours away unknown to him.

I apologize for sounding like an entitled or spoiled brat or something equivalent. While I do not appreciate the usual: ”You-gave-me-a-gift-now-I-owe-you-one," pettiness, the unequal lack of effort is starting to perturb me. I do not enjoy my one-sided efforts either!

Am I wrong for being a giver who sometimes needs to be given to also? Are my relatives being rude? 

In counselling once I learned that resentment is a sign you have crossed your own boundaries, giving too much. And I am backing off on any holiday celebrations with them. I feel, and have felt a lot of times, that I am quickly taken for granted in a situation and am wondering how to remedy that.

In closing, I would just like to say:"wah! Wah! Wah!" 

Bailey

A Moodscope member