I hate forms.

I’ve been filling out forms for the last few months. Form after form after form.

Those of you who have lost a loved one know that along with the grief comes endless forms to fill in. Every detail of your loved one’s life seems to be laid bare. Every possible asset, every possible liability must be recorded, together with all their salient life events: birth, marriage, place and cause of death, addresses lived at. All their bank account and tax details are fair game. There is no privacy in death.

My father-in-law died in September, and it’s been a long six months as we try to sort out his estate.

Some of the information just isn’t there or has been long forgotten. Some of the details are tedious or difficult to obtain. He had a number of clocks for instance, and we need to get them valued. Who should we go to, however? Then there are all his books and the jewellery he gave to my mother-in-law.

The latest thing the solicitor has asked for is the marriage certificate from his first marriage. My husband’s mother is long dead, and all the information seems to have died with her. Fortunately, my sister-in-law knows where to go to get all the information there. You can get copies of birth certificates, death certificates, marriage certificates and probate information. I’m glad she knew, because I didn’t.

All these forms take immense concentration to fill in and seem to result in paper everywhere as I try to draw all the information together. I am very aware of my compromised ability to concentrate.

I don’t know if it is age, the medication or the underlying depression which is causing this inability to concentrate for long periods of time. Whatever it is, it’s extremely frustrating. I find myself going over the forms again and again, making sure I have filled in everything right – and then, on the third pass, still find a bit at the bottom which says, “Important Notice: Make sure you have included X with this document,” at which point I need to scrabble around to find the information they’re looking for.

All this takes time and the more time I spend on the forms, the less able I seem to be to hold all the information together in my head. It gets to the point where I find I am even forgetting my own postcode.

But it’s not just forms. I can’t seem to read for the long periods of time I used to be able to, or to spend hours crafting or even cooking, where it involves following a recipe.

Do any of you find your levels of concentration are not what you think they should be? What do you think the reason is? Do you have any advice?

I hope none of you have the number of forms to complete as I have had, but, if so, I hope your concentration levels are sufficient for you to be able to fill them in successfully.

Mary

A Moodscope member