I have blogged before about making the positive choice; focussing on the sunny side; nurturing instead of nagging ourselves; being our own best friend rather than our own worst enemy. But what about the times when we can't do this; when we can't even see the positive let alone focus on it; when we feel swamped by our own personal black cloud – whatever that may be? How can we continue then?
When we manage to focus on the positive, it is not a question of doing so at the expense of the negative; nor is it trying to deny the negative feelings. On the contrary, it is important to acknowledge the bleakness, the negativity and perhaps even to accept it as being an integral part of us.
Throughout my life my default position has been to deny the reality of my negative feelings; but I am slowly coming to realise that this strategy has served only to make matters worse.
Diana Ross once sang about having a broken heart with the line "Good morning heartache; sit down." and several Moodscopers have referred to their "black dog". I now try to be more accepting of my bleak and negative feelings. Sometimes I will deliberately listen to music which makes me sad – almost as if I am giving myself permission to feel bleak (but always with a time limit and always with a cup of tea afterwards). Hubby's current phrase which is helping me is: "Into every life a little rain must fall".
So in the bleak times I try to remind myself that I just have to trust that it will not be like this forever; that one day, maybe even later today, it will pass, like a heavy shower, or a dense fog...
I loved Rika's final paragraph on her blog 18th February and think that it is well worth repeating: "I wish you a wonderful day, but in the case that you aren't having a wonderful day, I offer a knowing smile and I hope that your tomorrow is better."
A Moodscope member.
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