As you have already seen from my previous blogs, depression has pretty much latched it's tentacles to me like a an octopus, so I'm not really sure exactly how to either resolve it or even make my life a little more meaningful.

I'm stuck, finding meaning to it all but never getting anything meaningful back. I've tried exercise (still continuing), got a new job with a higher salary, paying off my debts and should be debt free very soon, have a wonderful girlfriend, my family is still alive... so I should be happy... Right?

But I'm totally the opposite! My mindset can't seem to shift towards the good things in my life, although not perfect! What am I doing wrong? Why do I seem to be afflicted with this negativity and continuous self doubt! It's ruining my life... but I don't know what else to do to feel like my normal self again... I'M STUCK :-(

What is this lesson I need to learn? Not entirely sure to be honest!

However, I've taken further steps to ask for therapy... even though I've done this a few times. So something doesn't seem to be working after all these years but I'm open minded... let's see!

Hugo

A Moodscope member.