I recently attended a workshop for self-development, it was to provide tools on how to cope when you feel overwhelmed and dealing with negative people or situations. Another topic that was also discussed was self-limiting beliefs.

I have never really heard of this before and it was put in a way that I got. Basically we tell ourselves things every day," I am ugly, I am fat, I don't deserve to be happy or loved" and over time our brain believes these nuggets of self-doubt. When you get a compliment you dismiss it, for example, "Your hair looks nice" and instead of saying "Thank you" we say "It's because I've washed it". Your sub-conscious brain attacks the positive in you so you still believe the negative and these are the things that have held us back.

I know not everyone will believe that if we start telling ourselves positive stuff that it will change our lives, but being grateful for what we have in our lives and telling ourselves that we are good enough will help on the step to feeling better about ourselves.

One of the exercises we had to do was write down the one thing that we didn't have/deserve and why. I was at the workshop with a friend and she couldn't believe what I had written and we both sat there in tears. She didn't see in me what I saw and sometimes we have to look at these self beliefs from a different perspective. What if your friend said to you the things that you are thinking? You would tell them how you saw them and that's what we need to do. We need to be kinder to ourselves and think how our friends see us.

One of the things that the coach does, and she has been through a pretty rough time herself these last few years, losing her husband from a brain tumour at a young age and bringing up two young children, but her attitude is amazing. Every day she says three things that she is grateful for and three affirmations, she even gets her girls to do the same.

There will always be bad stuff in our lives that we can't get away from, grief or a trauma, but it is about making the rest of life happier so that these things do not feel as big or as overwhelming.

I have been suffering with depression and anxiety and it turns out going through the change at an early age, but I am going to try and do these two things to see if I can turn those negative self-limiting believes into something a bit more positive and be able to say "I am enough"!!!

Clare

A Moodscope member.