How many times have you heard this saying? I hear it all the time and usually it's a throwaway comment about trivial things like the weather. Yet it has become so much more than a throwaway comment for me. It has developed into a bit of a mantra. I realised that this simple yet, powerful statement of only five small words can really stop me in my tracks when negative thoughts start flooding in or if I'm wishing I had a different... life, job, body, bank balance, relationship (delete as appropriate).
Saying "It is what it is" to myself can ground me within seconds. It allows me some space between my thoughts and my feelings and immediately gives me some much needed perspective if I start dwelling on painful memories or worrying about things that may or may not happen in the future. I find it calming if I'm feeling mentally out of control or more practically if I'm stuck in traffic or when I find the TV remote in the fridge (as happened recently when I wasn't feeling completely together - but that's another story!).
Whenever my negative thoughts are working against me and I'm on a downward spiral of toxic thoughts, saying this out loud helps me remember that things are what they are, right now, this very second. It's not to say it can't and won't be different in five minutes or longer term, but right now, in this present moment I am experiencing what I'm meant to be experiencing.
It is true that when things get particularly bleak, even these five little words can so easily be forgotten, lost in the fog that is depression, but hanging onto something as simple as "It is what it is" can help give you a little head space - until the next thought comes along anyway. So I invite you to make these five little words your mantra. Give it a try because... "It is what it is".
A Moodscope member.