After reading Manuel’s blog (Saturday 5th December 2020) I felt I had to write this.
Totally agree that therapy needs to be tried. It can and will change your life if you allow it and find a therapist you really trust.
So as a therapist what do we say, “You will be happy after 6 sessions, 12 sessions, 100 sessions or we will give you a refund??”
We live in a world of quick fixes and want it now but for a lot of us our pain and suffering has been gradual and we have incorporated beliefs and values into our constructed world.
There is NO short cut. You need to acknowledge and feel those embarrassing, shameful, guilt inducing sometimes so traumatic feelings the words won’t come out for months or years. But why on earth would you do that. Because it heals. I could give you hundreds of mantras here but I won’t as I am sure you know what I’m talking about. A problem shared is a problem halved and all that! It is hard work and exhausting and sometimes terrifying. Not selling it very well am I?
Why do people say that therapy doesn’t work? I could go to my friend if I wanted to talk about my problems. Difference is we don’t ( and I am speaking for myself and not the whole industry here as I am well aware there are good and not so helpful therapists out there) tell you what to do and tell you our problems too. We acknowledge what it means to you. Just by having our feelings acknowledged is sometimes enough to shift the pain.
I do get frustrated. Yes, I am well aware frustration is anger but frustration sounds softer and I don’t want you to think I’m not a nice person by getting angry. (I am not talking here about venomous anger that people spew out on social media as this is another blog all together). Childhood messages stick with us and this is what causes our ongoing suffering. This is where we go wrong in life. Don’t be sad, don’t cry, don’t get angry. Yes please do. If not, where do those feelings go? Stuffed down in layers of shame, guilt, fear and so many more until it becomes unbearable and will show itself in anxiety, depression and physical illnesses. As (thankfully) this is not an academic piece of writing I don’t need to back this blog up with research but it is out there along with the numerous books to read on the subject.
And don’t let cost be an excuse as it can be for a lot of people. We can all say we don’t have the money and trust me I am with you. It is about our priorities and there are many wonderful charities around and therapists that offer low cost sessions.
I am aware that many of you will have your personal experiences both good and bad of therapy.
Wondering what your experiences are and what you have learnt from them?
A Moodscope member.