Labelled Bipolar in the 1970's...
I've stated before, that I believe that I literally 'Burnt Out'.
When first diagnosed, my doctor had no time to diagnose me properly and to establish the lifestyle to which I was exposed.
I had a huge mortgage, three growing children, my office equipment-Sales and Service business, a bridging loan on my previous property, which was at that time not sold.
My wife was operating an International Bed and Breakfast at our 5 bed detatched house, just built, and on top of that we were experiencing two recessions, which resulted in a 15% interest rates... This was just part of my problem.
The pressure upon me was tremendous. Because of the quietness of my business, due to recession, I was out knocking on the retail, commercial and professional businesses, on Industrial Estates touting for business... all this in a deep depression... scared was I, but my responsibility to family and debt, was that I had no option but to 'GET OUT THERE'... I developed the notion, that as depressed as I was, the first call was going to hit me for six... prepared for the worst... which never happened, I soldiered on regardless of my very low mental state...
Had my doctor known of these responsibilities at the time, I am certain that he would have put me to rest - to slow down, I'm sure the diagnosis would not have been Bipolar...
Why do I say this? Six weeks ago my Psychiatrist stated that neither she nor my CPN thought that I had Bipolar, she stated that I was doing too much for others and always having 'projects' on the go all the time.
You can immagine my relief.
Now, well aware of over exposure ('weary in well-doing') I choose what I do with my time and make sure it's mindfully managed. Still able to occupy my mind and stop the ruminating, I am still achieving all that is demanded from me.
Do you feel the same, are you going faster in your mind and body than your system can cope with?
In maturity I question so called professionals and others at all times and do not take no for an answer!
Dave
A Moodscope member.
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