It's not a great feeling to revisit times when I have felt so low there seemed little left to cling to and yet I find it is almost essential in the journey to stay well.
Christmas week depleted my last reserves of resilience and left me a little broken. But I have enough experience to know this is my normal and that, if left to lick my wounds, I would recover. I am there, in the process of recovery.
To find a little reassurance, I found myself briefly revisiting a time gone by when I was scared and utterly broken. I have a clear memory of sitting down in the shower, silently crying myself inside out, contemplating emptying the medicine cabinet and driving into something at high speed. Chilling really.
And I am not there. That is good. I have perspective. I won't hang around in that memory for long as it is not a comfortable visit. But it is useful for me to pop in to.
I wonder if you ever use this strategy to bring yourself together? Do you revisit a sore time in order to regroup? Or is it too sore still? Every part of this journey can be hurtful and helpful. I think we can strengthen if we knit them together somehow. Sharp knitting needles meet soft wool. Don't be scared of the scary stuff, it often brings something new.
Sending love from
The room above the garage
A Moodscope member.