A few days ago I was at a fundraising event for rescue dogs. The vegan food vendor had to cancel, but those who planned to get our lunch there did not go hungry. A volunteer, not vegan herself, prepared some delicious lunch boxes for us. She was also up most of the night baking posh dog treats to sell for the funds. I hugged her and we chatted and laughed. 

A year ago I refused to speak to this person, let's call her Jan. Those that did were polite but curt with her. A lovely dog had been dumped many months before, terrified and wary, with many health issues caused by multiple whelpings. We all loved her. She was found to have a rare cancer. Three operations at £1,000 a time failed to stem it, she was on pain relief and her mood became worryingly unpredictable. She was never going to be adopted. The heartbreaking and very rare decision was made to euthanise her. This was done with the utmost love and minimum distress for her. Everyone else was in tears.

Everyone that is but Jan. She took to social media, accusing the people who run the place (unpaid) of being callous, not trying hard enough to cure the dog, no better than murderers. The manager was devastated, she wrote a calm response, an apology was made. Then a few days later when the manager was  taking a dog to be neutered Jan shouted "She's off to get some more dogs killed". The manager said nothing, but was very angry and distressed. 

Jan carried on volunteering for a while, working hard to be fair. Then she stopped coming, I was relieved at not having to avoid bumping into her. Then she came back, bald and thin. She had been diagnosed with cancer, and was receiving chemo. There is no such thing as a good cancer, but hers was both as bad as it gets, and at an advanced stage. She is in her late 40's, single and also caring for a dying mother. At the time of her hate campaign she had been undergoing tests, and faced with the choice of brutal life-changing surgery or buying a bit more time with conventional methods. She had to sell her house, downsize to a flat, give up her free-lance work and claim benefits.

She now volunteers as much as she can. She painted two outbuildings, collects and hauls big sacks of donated dog food, walks, cuddles and brushes dogs. Some days she can't get out of bed, and no one is there for her.

Most rescues are careful about rehoming when there are young children. The gentlest dog can bite when scared, yelp and nip if a sore ear is grabbed. Are we any different? I know I am very impatient and lacking in sympathy when I am filled with worry and despair. I have lashed out in my time. In defence those on the receiving end were far from blameless, but I made no allowances, wanted them to hurt. So far I have never been tested as Jan has. I hope I would not turn on good and innocent people, but I cannot be sure.I am desperately sorry for her, and filled with admiration at how she has done her best to make amends.

Val

A Moodscope member