The recent move to the capital city of my province has been interesting to say the least. Except there is more...
So desperate to leave the toxic small town I was living in - a meddling, gossipy village where people are curious-not-so- much-caring; I took an apartment site unseen and evacuated Yappyville. I felt alone, lonely, vulnerable and exposed there. Every friend I made was just an enemy in the making, it seemed. A quote I read on the internet a while ago perhaps explained it:"there are no enemies only friends that have stopped pretending."
Walking my dog with a service harness on has attracted some unwanted attention. A toothless meth user on a bicycle taunted me the other day: “Hey blind lady, you're so pathetic.” (I am not blind, and I wanted to ask him if he could spell pathetic) then I noticed he shouts insults at everyone, no one, and anyone. He must be filled with self loathing to be so practiced at hating others. You have to consider the source when people act ugly, because people do things based on themselves not you or I.
So I am handling city life and it's resounding anonymity better than small town over-exposure. I have liked every place I ever lived until I associated with the wrong people, tried too hard to belong or got involved in a failed romance.
There are a lot of desperadoes here - one can see the state of the economy everywhere and it is laying in the gutter. One can raise the view quite easily by raising one's eyes... so I do. The skyline is magnificent no matter what time of day and I am one in the crowd not one who stands out. At least - not usually. And when I am noticed negatively I handle it better.
"There's no such thing as a geographical cure," I have heard all my life; not sure if I agree totally. A change of scenery can be positive. It is for me.
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