Yesterday I read a web article entitled ’14 Reasons Your Life Hasn’t Turned Out the Way You Hoped It Would.’ (you can find it by a Google or Bing search – it’s worth reading.) My life certainly hasn’t turned out how I hoped in would in my younger days, and I suspect I have this in common with the vast majority of Moodscopers.   

Some of the 14 points didn’t resonate, but some really did. ‘Fear whispered louder than ambition’ - check. ‘Decisions lacked direction’ (reactive decisions, often to escape from a situation, rather than decisions made with a view to a longer-term objective) - check. ‘Relationships drained your energy’ - check. ‘Comfort zones became prisons’ - sometimes. ‘Health took a back seat’ - far too often. Do any of these resonate with you?

None of us can change the past, but it's not too late to change ourselves a little, even when we’re of pensionable age - is it?

The problem of fear is one I’ve grappled with for years; when I read ‘Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway’ over a decade ago, I felt exhilarated, even though the book does contain some rather dubious advice (please turn on your critical faculties before reading it!). The book gave me the courage to change career in my early 50s, which I should have done years before; but believe me, I wasn’t ‘escaping a comfort zone’, except in a financial sense. My remaining working life wasn’t all plain sailing, but it was far more fulfilling and I learned to live with periodic failures (most of which didn’t have much long-term consequence; everyone screws up sometimes.) Since retiring I’ve tried to push out the boat a little each year in my voluntary work, e.g. getting into social media and promoting fundraising events, and have enjoyed some modest successes.

Where I still struggle, however, is moving on from my comfort zone of an OK house in a dull suburb with a so-so social life – and a lot of frustrations. A lot of me would like to take off and live somewhere/do something more exciting; what keeps me back? Health issues, relationship responsibilities and the sheer stress of moving house/area are part of it – but is it mostly fear getting the better of me again? I am really not sure.

Oldie but Goldie

A Moodscope member