When I was 11 years old the teacher asked us to write a story about being lonely. She asked me to read mine out to the class because I had written about being lonely in a group. While everyone else had written about being alone somewhere without other people. 

Fast forward to early twenties and now I experience the loneliness of being on my own. 

Fast forward to my seventies and here I am alone again, naturally… and not lonely at all. 

In my youth, not fitting in with my school mates seemed an insurmountable problem. I did not look like most of them; I was still seriously tanned from living in the Far East for a number of years… and the effects of Yorkshire seaside weather on my tropical tan, was to make it and me yellow. Added to a Large Mop of Ginger hair, it made me hard to ignore… but I was shunned for being ‘different’ and ‘posh’ and ‘clever’  

Being shunned made me more determined to succeed in life. Knowing the horror of being shunned I determined the best way to counter that for future generations was to become involved in education myself. Back then, degrees had simple names – Geography – History – Applied Maths. But not so much the degrees I would have liked to have had – counselling and Personal Development. 

I became a teacher of Geography and I loved it and being involved with a large inner city comp in the mid 1970s was interesting. 

But having been part of a rich social life at college and then part of another vibrant life in school, being totally alone from Friday afternoon until Monday morning became challenging. 

How do you find new friends? I had no desire to sit drinking in pubs all weekend; nor had I the energy to take up an evening class. I was very involved in the feminist movement and did spend a lot of my week night evenings at one meeting or another. But breaking through the formality of meetings and becoming friends with people; that was a Very Large Step. 

Bravely I did take myself to some gay pubs. Only to discover that most of the other people in them were not looking for friendship; they were looking for a life partner! And I was not. It seemed to me anyway, to be a very large slice of ‘nudge nudge wink wink’ culture. And I wanted no part of it. 

And so yes. I was alone and I was lonely. Terribly lonely. 

My twenties were hard. 

A recent report on loneliness concluded that the loneliest people are in their twenties. Also huge numbers in their seventies and eighties. But mostly in their twenties. And I can believe that. 

Now I am alone again, things are very different. I am not lonely. 

Technology has come to the rescue. Friends are scattered world wide; thanks to the internet; we are always there for each other. 

How do you cope with loneliness, Moodscopers?

CMM

A Moodscope member