Let’s get real. Someone parks in a disabled bay when there are loads of other spaces free, and I see red.

Last week, I caught myself cursing a driver, wishing him a month laid up in bed to know what it was like to have a disability, and fantasising about bashing his van to pieces. The irony? I’m hoping to get a Blue Badge myself. My rage wasn’t about justice—it was my Shadow waving furiously.

Carl Jung said our Shadow is everything we learned to hide. For me, that’s a volcano of repressed rage. As a teenager, I was bullied to the point of grievous bodily harm. I carry that old powerlessness with me. So when I see what I think is inappropriate entitlement, my inner teenager screams for revenge. That’s not my "bad" side—that’s my protector, left over from a time I needed armour.

Here’s the trick: we can’t see our Shadow directly, so we project it onto others. That driver wasn’t the enemy; he was just the mirror. My rage was telling me: “You still feel helpless. You need to reclaim your power safely.”

So, what does this mean for our wellbeing?

First, recognising our projections gives us back our peace. Others stop "making" us angry—we realise our hot buttons are just old bruises. Second, it frees up huge energy. Repressing that much rage is exhausting! Third, it replaces toxic positivity with true wholeness. Wellbeing isn't about being a saint 24/7; it's about accepting the protector within, without acting on his worst impulses.  Turn your projector into your protector!

Here’s our gentle practice: Next time a flash of fury hits, let’s pause. Instead of shaming ourselves, we whisper: “Who am I really mad at? The driver, or the powerless kid I used to be?”

We nod to that fierce part of us. We thank it for keeping us alive. And then we choose a different action—like taking a breath, or writing a blog, instead of bashing a man with a van. That’s how we turn a scary monster into a loyal, grumpy companion. We stop being victims of our past, and become gentle caretakers of our own fierce hearts.

Lex

A Moodscope member