Someone said to me my posts make them feel less alone, it’s quite hard to put your thoughts out in public being seen to be hurting, sometimes seen as a ploy for sympathy or drama, even weakness.
Not at all in my case! I don’t need sympathy. In lots of ways I'm really really lucky, family and friends support from all angles, being able to walk on my mangled foot is a small miracle in itself.
Living with my favourite canine pals in a home that still makes me proud to see the work on it to make it lovely. I'm not living in a war torn country, fearful of death at any moment and I've commitments abroad to be looking forward to.
The thing is that the feelings that overwhelm us are often best described as fear, like the first day back at school after a long holiday when we were children. I remember it well, and in the evening on the way home wondering what I was worried about !
It’s quite a clever way to think of it. I missed my husband most when pressure built up in aftermath of Crufts, because although we didn't share the same views of everything, we sat for hours discussing the media, and the problems being piled on our breed. We tossed thoughts back and forth like a tennis match… but I knew I could always fall in the door and say to him, 'Now look what's happening !!' I could always feel his wisdom and his take on life illness and even people.
Life’s been a very big learning curve for the last 2 years - a weaker person would be wheel chair bound and not dreaming of going travelling. I'm not weak but I loved deeply and without end, an unlikely couple we may have seemed, but I'm missing my right arm, so bear with...
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