Mums, Mothers, Step-Mums, Mamas, Aunties, women who hold… most of us have, or have had, these women somewhere in our lives. Some don’t. Some (and I do hope it’s a tiny minority) don’t have anybody to take on a mantle resembling this title. If that happens to be you, I hope you know that I have been a mum for officially 23 years and 2 months, (3 children from myself, plus 2 brothers who have been mine since the 70s, and countless hangers on) and I have learned enough to mum my way through most things. I will happily mum you, just write the blog and I will cook the breakfasts.

In my time as a mum, I have learned that I detest Mother’s Day. The expectation to tell my mum that I thought she was a vision of heroic and wise goddess-ness through the medium of flowers, gifts and events was strong. And, quite honestly, the wall fell down years ago - I will always be a good daughter but I don’t like her anymore. I found that a very rough path to walk with bare feet.

During Covid, when we were newly and severely restricted on Mother’s Day, I sent messages to two women in my life who had been around since before I was born. Gentle, kind, understanding, undemanding, insightful women. I underplayed my feelings but just said I was thinking about them as mother-figures in my life. They responded so beautifully. 

What’s my point? My point is that no matter who or what the person is in your life who brings you some comfort and reliability is somebody who holds. I instruct my children not to give me cards, presents or special treatment on Mother’s Day because I expect to be adored every day!! But in truth, knowing that I have their trust IS my gift. I hope you have somebody in your life who you can trust with the knowledge that you can say your worst and they’ll put the kettle on and cook some eggs.

That’s pretty much all that mumming is.

Love from

The room above the garage

A Moodscope member