Though he died in winter some 20 odd years ago, his memory is still vivid and his ghostly presence I can sometimes sense.

You may find it odd, but my deceased dad helps me with sales stats lol. 

He died when I was trying to pass a statistics exam. It was sudden and unexpected and was both a shock and a relief.

He died of stroke, caused by his unhealthy diet and excessive vodka consumption.

He was handsome, smart, joyful, witty, though uneducated when dry, cloudy and unresponsive when intoxicated.

What I owe him is my fair hair, good set of teeth lol, curiosity in the world outside, my education, my healthy eating obsession and my wicked and black humour.

I always tried to please him with my achievements and I believe he's proud of me wherever he's now. 

He's proud of my decent job, the way that I'm bringing up his grand-children to be caring, curious, kind, independent and fluent in two languages. Aware of their roots, but also coping well in society.

He's proud I had admitted to my own alcohol addiction and my ways to stay dry with grace and humour. Shiraz Cabernet, Merlot and Sauvignon used to help me with work stress, sadness, anger, joy and disappointment.

My husband is like my dad was. He's my soulmate and reason to carry on. My strength and support. 

DAD is sitting now with me and our Beanz, the cat who is serene, in the kitchen. 

I forgave you, reading my teenage dairy, the shame on the family that your vodka addiction brought on, and spending all your wages on booze.

Staying dry hurts, but I'm sure we can do it together as a team.

Love is stronger than addiction chains and it wins and rules.

In loving memory 

Renata

A Moodscope member