Does anybody remember The Times newspaper when the front page was all advertisements? Often anonymous entries 'Grateful Thanks to Saint Jude' (Saint of Lost Causes and those in despair). I think Moodscope must have been spawned by St Jude. This is not cynicism because over the years it appears that those suffering from long-term depression are a 'lost cause'. The medical profession cannot cope. The state has neither money nor personnel. Medication would seem necessary, but never seen on these pages anybody who has been cured, or found medications which do not cause extra problems, side effects or stopping them. Many people have had counselling, again, not a cure, a comfort and a prop, but you need money! And so often depression has impeded on working life, relationships, and provoked money problems.

I have often said I 'use and abuse' Moodscope, my wailing wall, comfort blanket, prop and stay over 5 hard years. Help has now come from a totally unthought-of direction, decision making. I had a blog on 11th June on weather effects on depression. The first half of June was wet and cold, and everybody was fed up. The SAD syndrome was also mentioned. The only bad weather I like is walking along a beach in stormy conditions – boiling sea with white spume, violet or black sky, beating against the wind. But that's only OK if there's a nice warm pub at the end of it.

The replies set me to seriously looking at my situation. It came down, quite simply, to a too large house and the only windows face North and high walls of neighbours opposite. So. One solution, try to earn money staying put in order to be able to go away in the winter. Commerce not viable. Straight after the blog I got a letting agency in to consider that possibility. Impossible, it would cost too much to bring the house up to letting standards required by law. French law is strongly pro-tenant, so one could be prevented from selling or moving. Bad or non-paying tenants would cause un-wanted extra stress. Solution, to move.

I have found the 'perfect' house. Just cross the road yet again. It's an ex-bar, in an awful mess. But it tick's loads of boxes: west facing windows. Small walled garden would be a sun trap. One third the size of current abode. Right in centre of town (a prime concern, no change doctor, pharmacy, bread shop etc.) I would not need to buy anything, only pay for work.

Cons? Oh yes. I have to sell this house, it took four years to sell the other. I have to dispose of more than half my possessions, clutter of 65 years, could be tough, but the man at dump is my mate. The biggest stumbling block is no neighbours. I'm only on 'bon jour' terms with current ones. But nobody lives over shops, I'd have to go for sophisticated security. Has anybody made serious decisions following a blog?

The Gardener

A Moodscope member.