How would you like to feel better after reading this to the end? If you’re thinking, “That’d be great,” we share the same intention.
I’m hoping you’re like me, and if you are, you’re heading for a breakthrough – not a breakdown.
I’m going to shift to occasional ‘we’ language now ‘as if’ you are like me and we share a lot in common.
We’ve always wanted to be good – good people – but somehow it doesn’t always work out.
We’ve always wanted to be brave – but we are often frightened and full of self-doubt.
We wish we’d been the beautiful person at school – but were more often celebrated for our ‘bubbly personality’ or sense of humour!
Are we still together on this? One out of three, two out of three, or three out of three?
I’ve had a breakthrough.
There’s been a lot of breakthroughs over the last few months and this crisis is amplifying them.
Much of it comes down to understanding my dark side or what Carl Jung called the Shadow. His teaching has been of enormous comfort to me because I’ve concluded that everyone I know – yes, everyone – has a dark side. I’ve been trying to be a ‘good boy’ since childhood under the merciless regime of my tyrannical mother!
Frankly, I haven’t had much success at being a ‘good’ chap. And I’m hoping you haven’t been very ‘good’ at being a ‘good girl’ or a ‘good boy’ either! Why? Because we’re conning ourselves about what we are capable of. Now that I know far more about the darkness inside me, it can blooming well stay there – acknowledged but unexpressed! It doesn’t have to leak out in that horrible critical spirit that most ‘good’ people harbour… The ‘holier than thou’ are usually ‘darker than most’!
I’ve made a commitment. I’ve realised I’ll never be the ‘good boy’ I thought I ought to be, but I can become ‘great’. I didn’t vote for Boris, and I’m pretty sure he’s not a good boy either, but he’s becoming a great leader. President Trump has certainly got an interesting history that would probably preclude him from being described as having been a ‘good boy’ but he’s doing a great job. And, sorry, but I’m no Royalist – nevertheless, I’m a fan of the ‘great’ job Her Majesty does.
We may not be good, but we can be great.
What about not being the beautiful kid on the block? What about not being picked for the team – or being last to be picked? What about not being popular?
I get it at last after a long look in the mirror: I’m never going to be the ‘beautiful boy’ or the ‘beautiful girl’. But I’m going to become more like Dale and Amanda (not to say they aren’t beautiful). Both of them give me such a warm welcome at work that I feel like a prince. As such, they are both massively ‘attractive’. We may (or may not) be beautiful, but we can be attractive and make others feel great.
And as for being brave – I think it is over-rated. I choose ‘courage’ instead. Courage can act when we still feel like we could wet ourselves with fear. Courage is action from the heart.
That’s us then:
Not bold but courageous;
Not beautiful but attractive;
Not good but becoming heroes.
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