Greetings Moodscopers and thank you all for your comments and for your chosen ‘Norm’s’(see blog 21.11.2022); great to read there are some others out there!

But what about the Not Norm’s: those who are mood hoovers and in whom we invest our emotional energy, only to be ignored or worse still, rejected. I’m sure we’ve all experienced these people too. Indeed, we probably wouldn’t be able to recognise our Norm’s without also recognising our Not Norm’s too.

Investing your emotions and time in others is important, of course but not to your own detriment. I say ‘put in what you get out’ rather than plug away at someone who has a disproportionate interest in you or for that matter, no interest!

We need those around us who are a positive life force and help support us along the way. Not those who suck the life force out of us, batter our self-esteem, encircle us in their negativity and their own unrealistic expectations. No sir!!

One such Not Norm for me - let’s call her ‘George’, rode on my coat tails, expected me to be everything to her, from the sublime to the ridiculous. I found myself three quarters submerged in her muddy quagmire; in a light-bulb moment, I realised how much emotional energy I’d expended with little or no return. I engaged with George in an adult to adult conversation and we parted ways.

The sense of relief was palpable, my self-esteem restored and that monkey on my back, removed. ‘Cry God, for Harry, England and St. George’ as Shakespeare’s Henry V shouted out. To me, it felt like the St. Crispins Day monologue in Ken Branagh’s film version of Henry V.

Since that time with George, I’ve made it my mission to surround myself with positive-minded people; I actively listen and fully engage with them for it pays me to do so and supports me daily.

Robin Goodfellow

A Moodscope member