I have suffered from depression for a number of years. I was officially diagnosed with post natal depression after I had my second child, but if I'm completely honest I think I have suffered a lot longer than I care to admit. After I had my first child I felt like a complete failure as a mother. I didn't bond with him for a long time. I didn't go to the doctors as I was worried they would take my child away from me, I know now that would not have been the case but I was so mentally unstable I could not think straight.
When I was diagnosed with depression I felt ashamed. I was worried what people would think of me. I felt embarrassed that I need help with my mental health. I had days when I was so low I didn't want to be here anymore, I wanted to run away or worse, I wanted to die. I thought everyone would be better off without me.
Now I have experienced depression I haven't been treated any less of a person. I have had a lot of support from friends and family and have met lots of other people that have mental health struggles. I have discovered there are so many people out there struggling in silence. I have been able to talk about my experiences and encourage other people to do the same. I have been able to accept I have an illness and like any other illness I have received treatment in the form of medication and also counselling.
I still have days when I feel incredibly low but they are becoming less and less. If you are struggling to cope, talk to someone, see a doctor. Don't be ashamed or embarrassed. It doesn't make you any less of a person. Mental illness doesn't care who you are, it doesn't care if your a doctor or a shop keeper, a builder or a waiter. It is an illness like any other and it is nothing to be ashamed of.
A Moodscope member.