Have you seen the film 'Love Actually' in which Hugh Grant plays a dancing PM. He immediately hits it off and is attracted to his new assistant 'Oh no, not again!' he sighs, feeling that twinge. To save himself, at least initially, he has her moved to another Dept, so they have little or no further contact

Later, the PM notices the strength of his feeling for her. And, after all, the heart wants what the heart wants. We don't choose who we love.

So what's the answer in these post-modern, instant gratification at the push of a button times? Do we 'go for it' or do we 'take a beat' and consider all the pros and cons?

On my own admission, I've been in both camps and I confess to not really possessing a finite answer.

My rather unworthy advice: don't think of now, this moment but rather how you might feel in 3 months time? Short-term happiness can feel euphoric at the time but like a chocolate rush, it soon burns off and the come-down can be harsh!

That said, sometimes we have the good fortune to come across someone who reignites that fire in our belly which had hitherto burned out. Their orbit draws you in and all feels right? I have recently met such a person and at the moment, I just want her company all the time: she makes me laugh, she provokes thought, we share similar cultural interests and she's very empathetic. I feel comfortable enough in her company to tell her I have Bipolar2, even though I expected she might 'run for the hills'. On the contrary. She was interested to learn about how and why the disorder had struck me, what my triggers and coping mechanisms were. 

My tarnished faith in human nature, restored, I continue to enjoy her company and where it may lead. Empathy gets me every time because it's important for us all to have active listeners around us who do just that and do not judge.

Robin Goodfellow

A Moodscope member