What do you listen to when you’re down, if anything at all?

I’m guessing you don’t go out of your way to find something new. I suspect you listen to songs or music so familiar you know every note.

When we’re down, we turn to comfort food and meals we’ve cooked so many times before, we no longer need the recipe book. 

If you watch TV, you’re likely watching The Repair Shop, or binge-watching some of your favourite shows on catchup. You might be watching old favourite films: I heard of one woman who, when she was down, watched Pride and Prejudice six times running.

I’m a reader and, for the last three weeks or so, I’ve been binge reading my favourite authors. Some of these books I’m returning to for the fifth time or more. I know every word and can quote huge chunks. I’ve even started to read them out loud to myself, just to make them last longer – anything to avoid having to read something new, although my “to be read” pile of books by my bed and on my Kindle is considerable. I don’t want anything new – I want the familiar.

I want my familiar comfortable clothes too. I want my jeans and sweatshirt rather than making the effort to put on my nice clothes. I even avoid social engagements where I need to get dressed up. As for make-up, forget it. And this from someone who was an image consultant and gloried in wearing my nice clothes and makeup every day.

Which just goes to show, I suppose, that I’ve been down more than I thought.

Why is it we want the familiar when we’re down?

I think it’s because we need to conserve our energy. Coping with the new, or putting on clothes we need to think about, takes energy – and energy is something we don’t have when we’re depressed. We turn to carbs: biscuits, ice cream and chocolate because they’re easy and because our bodies are seeking energy.

I don’t know about you, but I tend to feel a bit guilty about avoiding anything new. A friend sent me a bookmark for New Year. On it is a picture of a stack of books and you’re supposed to write, on the spines, the title of every new book you read in the year. That bookmark is still empty because, although I’ve read about twenty books already this year, they have all been books I’ve read before. My friend says these still count, but I don’t think they do.

Yet feeling guilty about this, as with anything else, is counterproductive. It’s best to think of it as a coping mechanism. So, if you are watching The Big Bang Theory all the way through – again – don’t be hard on yourself. Sheldon is just helping you cope.

Mary

A Moodscope member