On the periphery.

29 Jan 2017

A theme runs through my life, of being on the periphery. Somehow always on the edge of what's happening. But it feels comfortable here, in the cloisters, a soft web shades, protects and envelops me. I can watch what's going on in the brighter centre from safety, without an uncomfortable spotlight on me, a grey shadowy image. Undisturbed.

For several years I have been reading the Moodscope blogs. I don't have the terrible challenges that some of the other writers have. I admire their bravery and courage; tears come to my eyes as they describe their feelings and thoughts. One day I realise, I am watching, from the outside, a different world. I feel like some sort of voyeur- I stop reading.

A couple of weeks go by. Then I come back, now I am reading not just the blogs but also the comments, some times a few times a day - I wonder what I am doing. I realise that no I don't have severe depression or anxiety, but I know that in my adult life, I have stubbornly fought against being mildly depressed refusing to accept it, and I must have more anxiety than a "normal" person. I hadn't noticed the anxiety - my family & friends had commented. The conclusion is, here I am because I am on the borders, not somebody with entrenched depression and anxiety but with some mild condition, and the blogs help me.

So from the cloisters for those in the centre, I salute you and offer to share my woolly web cloak to warm and protect you.


A Moodscope member.

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Moodscope members seek to support each other by sharing their experiences through this blog. Posts and comments on the blog are the personal views of Moodscope members, they are for informational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice.

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