About 5 years ago, I moved to the small town where I currently live. The inhabitants are very proud of the town, and I think that is good. There are community initiatives such as litter clearing, Christmas lights, flowers in tubs, which aim to keep the place looking nice. 

When you meet somebody who was born and brought up in the town, within the first few minutes of chatting, they proudly tell you that fact. However, there is a slight edge in their tone, newbies are viewed as lacking somewhat. In facebook and other forums there is much talk of the good old days, before the new people came and when life was simpler and rosier. The viewpoint is that the changes in the town over the decades, the expansion around the edges and shifting lifestyles of inhabitants have negatively impacted the towns life and character.

I thought about this, me being a newbie, an outsider and a person presumably adding to the changes. I thought about the village where I was born, the demographic of the people who live there has changed dramatically. When I was young, it was predominantly farmers, farm-workers, and a few tradespeople. Nowadays, there are fewer farms (but larger farms) and more mechanisation, hence fewer farmers and farm workers. The old damp farm cottages (some didn’t have bathrooms, only a toilet), and farmyard buildings have been converted into modern quaint homes. Their inhabitants work in the town, in white collar jobs and they are significantly more affluent. The character of my native village certainly has changed. 

So, in conclusion, regarding where I currently live. I decided that my neighbours don’t realise that it is not the newcomers that have changed the town, but that the town has changed with time. What they are missing is not the old place but the old time. That they shouldn’t look down on new people. I had already set my personal value dial, to the setting that displayed I was equal to them, I may not be of their tribe, but my tribe is also good.

I can see that origins help in terms of trust. If you know somebody’s origins, you have stable anchors, such as knowing their wider family. Maybe you can know how they think, that their value system is likely the same as yours and you are more likely to understand them. So I can see having shared origins helps. 

What do you think? Do you find people place value on where you came from?

Is your self-worth linked to your origins?

Do you feel like an outsider? 

Is this over thinking? Should I just immerse myself?

Daisy

A Moodscope member