Here I am, having a quiet day, and hoping the postman is going to bring me a parcel I've ordered for a birthday present for a friend. I've known her for a long time and we have shared experiences between us and memories of each others ups and downs. – bits of our pasts, feeling like parcels stored in a cupboard.

We have often laughed together over a cuppa, bringing a parcel out of the cupboard and unwrapping it and bringing our separate rememberancies of an event back. Often the story we are remembering changes as each of us relates separate little titbits from our memories. We have constructed a fuller picture for each other.

Sometimes past events have been so hurtful we have wrapped away the parcels of memories, tightly wrapped and shoved away as the only option to enable us to continue to function.

Not being able to open them, too painful to visit that long ago part of our lives, some of these parcels still remain in the cupboard.

Trouble is, as we get older our cupboard gets so full of the parcels, good ones and painful ones, that they sometimes intrude into our everyday lives!              

Just when we thought we'd settled them away they find a way out and, alas, they leap up to trouble our wellbeing. . .  The past won't always sleep soundly.

Sometimes you can rewrap the parcel in another way and make it less hurtful.

You can't eliminate your past, and you can't change another's thinking. But you might be able to be kinder to yourself. Reduce guilt and blame, and accept there are, perhaps, things you cannot change.

People say reframe the past, sometimes you can release the painful bits and move forwards. But sometimes this just stirs up so much pain. 

Sometimes a pragmatic approach may be wise. Finding a way to change your current mindset so you can accept the past, let it go and bring your thinking onto the present.  

The most important thing is to be well, to have good purposes and be able to move forwards.  

- Parcel up the past, try and settle the memories - you may want to visit it again. 

- Open your mind to the present, take time to adjust.

- Know that there will be a future and make a mental note that whatever lies ahead you have a part to play in it.

Ach

A Moodscope member