Do you like parties? I’m not a fan, unless I’m hosting, when I know everyone and I’m in control.

Yet last weekend we went to a wonderful party. It was the 60th birthday of one of my vicar friends. It started in the church hall, with about 100 guests and a chilli supper, cooked by ladies at the church, with bring and share puddings (my tiramisu went down a treat). After supper we all trooped along to the church itself, where we were treated to musical entertainment by the vicar – who is also a musician - and his friends. In the morning, the party continued with a community breakfast and a walk in the woods.

I’ve been trying to analyse what made this party so good. I knew quite a few people there from old, and I met quite a few from an online discussion group the vicar runs. We were seated by our host with some people “I know you’ll get on with like a house on fire,” and we did.

There was an incredible warmth about the evening. I suppose we were all church people so had something in common that way, but more than that, we were bound together by a deep affection and respect for our host. It didn’t hurt that, with tables for supper there wasn’t the expectation that one would work the room and exchange polite inanities with any number of people one had never met and didn’t particularly want to meet again. The food and music were great and the atmosphere even better,

How are you with social engagements? I find them draining and usually can’t wait to get away. I stay as long as is polite and then sidle up to my husband and indicate to him that we really ought to go as, “We have an early start tomorrow,” or some such excuse. Even my own party on Christmas Eve was exhausting. We had said on the invitation that it was 5.30pm to 7.30pm, but  our last guests left at 11pm! They didn’t outstay their welcome, we were all having a great time, but it was still tiring – especially with the washing up to do afterwards.

One of my daughters is an extrovert. She has been heard to say, in some stupefaction, “Why would you ever turn down an invitation to a party?” She loves being around people and doesn’t deal well with being alone. My other daughter is an introvert like me. She can just about cope with parties but would rarely choose to go to one. Sometimes the stress of a party is enough to make her physically sick.

I have a theory that most Moodscopers are introverts who find interaction with a crowd draining, and who gain their energy from being by themselves – alone but not lonely. I could be wrong of course, and a love of parties is not necessarily a good test. 

Have you been to any really good parties, or any particularly dreadful ones? What made them good or bad, or are all parties equally dire?

Mary

A Moodscope member