Leah wrote recently about her old pair of walking shoes and used them as an analogy for the discomfort of a new approach to our depression/bipolar etc.

Then Andrew made the comment on the 15th July that it is almost comforting to wallow in that cloying sadness.

I am grateful to Andrew and Leah for giving me the opportunity to examine what is real sadness and depression and what is actually normal for our own individual personalities. I acknowledge this wasn't the point of either of their blogs but this is what I am choosing to take from their excellent writing and base my blog on today.

When I look back on my childhood and teenage years, early twenties, before I knew I suffered from depression, I see the same person as I can see now but someone, me, not defined by depression.

Life becomes more complicated for everyone as they get older; we take on more responsibilities at work and if we have children, with a family. Whatever our increased responsibilities are, I think that our personality will shape how we deal with the challenges. Our personality will also dictate to a large extent how we react and what permanent damage is done.

Therefore I am saying that although my insomnia is bad and the subsequent depression also bad, it's not the whole picture. Nothing exists in isolation.

A different personality to mine might not have been phased by the same things/life events that were thrown at me. Their choices would have been different and they may have been better (or worse) equipped to deal with them.

I understand that we can choose to try to change our way of thinking and get away from the comfort zone of staying with our depression. After all for many of us, this is all we have known for a number of years now. However we must not try to change our innate personalities which existed pre depression days.

One of the great and comforting aspects of Moodscope is that we all seem to have similar kind, sympathetic, caring and creative personalities. We care about others and feel frustrated we cannot for the most part, be what we want to be in terms of communication, creativity and light heartedness. We care about others more than we care about ourselves. This means we want number one i.e. us as individuals to be better so that we can continue to help and make the world a better place. This might sound a grandiose scheme but I firmly believe us Moodscopers are a lovely lot and I cherish our similarities.

Jul

A Moodscope member.