Moodscopers are a lovely lot. Many of them have animals, often rescue animals. My mental picture of rescue animals is sad-looking creatures looking imploringly with big eyes at anyone willing to take them on.

I have just paid a subscription to a dating website for which it is necessary to set out a profile. This is the back story plus a photograph which is where the sad imploring eyes come in. There are also so many similarities with job applications, where one draws up a CV (literally 'course of my life,') as if I was totally defined by my work and education.

Unfortunately I have always had a problem with these situations. Even going back to childhood games and waiting to be picked while the better players were chosen by the captains. (That I ended up captaining the school rugby and cricket teams shows how hard I worked to change this.) Although job interviews and dating are meant to be a two-way process, in practice I've always felt like I am sitting there saying "pick me! Please?" The down side is that I don't always check the small print when the process gets a result, and end up in jobs or relationships not quite suitable, which leads to dissatisfaction, and on downwards.

At the moment I am trying to move forward on both fronts simultaneously. (Actually I'm chasing the "Triple Crown" of having my home, my job, and my partner in the same town!)

Leah recently spoke of the fantasy/reality conundrum. I look at my CV/profile and there is nothing with which I can disagree, it is all factual (or justifiable interpretation). I read and think "what a great guy, love to meet him!" Try as I might it doesn't feel 'me'. It is a bit like 'Ace' Rimmer against Arnold Rimmer (Red Dwarf allusion). When it comes to interviews/dates I can talk about 'Ace' Rimmer's achievements/personality with complete objectivity.

Meanwhile the real me is sitting there with the sad imploring eyes.

Norman

A Moodscope member.