I’m bored! What shall I do? First, write about it, might produce a solution, and use up half an hour before going shopping (car still an igloo). Add ‘treats’ to shopping; spending nothing, I don’t need to haunt the ‘Special Offers’ shelves. So, why the sudden ‘angst’, when I thought I was ‘coping’, and learning the real meaning of the word ‘acceptance’?

I had a phone call on Thursday, from the manager of a ‘Residence’ for the elderly, not an actual Care Home. He said they were ‘open’. I was most surprised, because virtually nothing else is. He said I needed to have a Covid test. So I booked in, and e-mailed my GP re vaccine and testing. He phoned me back yesterday, in absolute horror. He said I must not consider such a venture, he reckons this wave of Covid has not reached its peak in France, and an old people’s home the worst environment. I asked him how they could make the offer, thought it was against government policy. He said these establishments were desperate for money, and were taking risks but not with me, he stipulated. He asked why I wanted to go, he’s a super doctor and a good friend. I said I was desperate for somebody to talk to. I was preparing books, computer, knitting, aiming to grab people to improve my French as soon as I got there. I am going to him on Monday re: vaccine, I have official notification. He says he will talk to me about measures taken about ‘solitude’ then, did not know there were any - should be interesting.

Having seen a bit of ‘light’, that is human contact face to face (don’t know how they deal with social distancing, bit of a puzzle) I now feel let down with a bump. So, nothing has changed – except the four days of snow have seen me seriously ‘imprisoned’. I dared not go out, roads not cleared, watched small boy slide down my road on ice. There are younger people in my road, but nobody enquired if I needed anything; they were out and about – leaving me muttering more than ever about lack of community spirit around here.

I have quite a list of people regularly in phone or e-mail contact – but once a fortnight catches up on what news we have. If I talk on the phone for an hour I get a sore throat! Will lose the use of speech! I have very complicated knitting, necessitates concentration. Wide choice radio programmes. Crosswords, SUDOKU, logic puzzles – going through the books ‘dumped’ on me. Chucked one out, Colin Wilson’s ‘The Outsider’. Described himself as a ‘phenomenological existentialist’, sort that out. The Future Learn courses (thank you grand-daughter) have been a real saving grace, inter-active. Gardening is off – endless rain, now snow. Not just that I am a ‘fine-weather’ gardener. But rain has swollen door to garden so much can’t even get in! Suggestions on a post-card please.

The Gardener

A Moodscope member.