Like many within the Moodscope community, I live with conditions, both emotional and physical.

As you all know, managing conditions means managing plans, and indeed managing life. Any proposals have to first be inspected and analysed as to what impact they may have on you. Amendments have to be made to accommodate needs, to avoid overwhelm, to minimise pain, and committing to things can prove difficult; sometimes impossible.

But I try. Behind the scenes, I do all manner of things to "help".

I meditate, despite finding it hard some days; I persevere.

I listen to positive affirmations, despite sometimes wanting to tell the orator where to shove his suggestions that I have all the resources I need within me...

I track my mood here on Moodscope.

I track what I eat; aiming to make positive food choices, and I attend Weight Watchers, to support that process.

I enjoy regular reiki and massage treatments.

I practice yoga.

I read, and immerse myself in other worlds.

I see a counsellor, to explore feelings and gain perspective.

I go outside, into nature; I feel the sun, the wind and even the rain.

I walk.

I swim.

I keep a journal to reflect on positives and acknowledge achievements.

Yet I feel a sense of disconnect from much of this, because it feels as though I am doing them just to stay afloat. That I have to get these tasks done; to tick them off a list. And I am angry - really angry it seems - at having to constantly "manage" myself, and my life. At having things I must "do", rather than feeling able to simply "be" and enjoy things for what they are, rather than as part of some bigger project.

Project Me as I have decided to call it.

I've tried to reframe this anger and embrace the relish of a real project. I accept that just like a real project, I have a desired outcome – to improve (and positively sustain) my overall wellbeing, which is an obvious benefit. I accept that all the things I am currently doing contribute to this goal, and could be classed as research, development and analysis. But I'm not sure how Project Me moves forward, or ends. Most projects are temporary, and Project Me is something I'm going to be working on for the rest of my life. (Fans of the SMART acronym would doom this project to failure.)

So, I've decided to recruit.

Volunteer team members required; immediate start.

Homebased; unmonitored flexitime; unlimited annual leave.

This is an ongoing position offering varying levels of support to the (ill equipped) manager of a new and exciting project of self development.

Role includes (but is not limited to) removing the stick from the manager's hand that she beats herself with regularly (HR); highlighting the positives and achievements of the manager (Marketing); and locating the manager's elusive will to live and motivation (Procurement).

No qualifications or experience necessary, however the role is well suited to an individual with high levels of sarcasm, humour and patience.

Please apply within the comment section, stating clearly how you feel you meet the (vague and ambiguous) job and person specification.

No, of course there isn't a closing date...

Welcome to Project Me!

Fiona

A Moodscope member.