Yesterday my very courageous daughter said her goodbyes to her grandma. She didn't know, until we were at the hospital, that it would probably be be last time she saw her. Nor did I before we went. I just suddenly instinctively knew and I told my daughter to say anything she needed to say. What a brave young girl. Aged just 12.

It took me ages to get to sleep last night and I'm awake early this morning. I don't know how long left we have with Mum, whether it's days or a few weeks even. I do know, however, that this is the beginning of the end.

I feel stupidly strong and needy all at the same time. I feel lonely, yet loved. I feel numb and choked, yet I can still make my Dad (step-dad) laugh a little. Although he is devastated.

I lost my brother in December. Now it's time to be brave again. I'm getting ready to say goodbye again. I know this is all part of life. You may have been through this already with a parent. Or another loved one. I know that many Moodscopers have.

I'm so sorry that this is a sad blog and I certainly don't want to rake up painful memories for anyone. I'm just asking for your support. A hug would be lovely. Thank you.

Jane SG

A Moodscope member.