The three wise monkeys are famous:

"See no evil; Hear no evil; Say no evil..."

Except a) they are monkeys, and b) they are wrong.

It's actually poor psychology to concentrate on what you don't want. Try, for example, not thinking about a penguin wearing a tutu and ice-skating. Thought so.

It is better psychology to think about the alternative - what you would prefer instead of the "don't" - the negative? So the three wise humans would say,

"See all good; Hear all good; Speak all good!"

Wow! I think I just changed the World. (Well, my World anyway!)

How many times have I listened to some tasty morsel of poisonous gossip - 'cos it tasted so good. Funny how gossip is rarely about the good stuff, isn't it?

Well transformation - a dramatic metamorphosis - can happen when we change the way we think. I'm going to change, and you can join me, if you want to.

The most common setback to free flowing, happy relationships is insufficient and ineffective communication.

Privacy prevents me from citing specific cases by name but I've been building a business membership community for many years now and I know for a fact that the number one most frequently cited reason for not doing a second business venture with someone is 'poor communication'. I'm not talking about business ventures that have gone sour. I'm talking about financially successful joint ventures.

Even though these joint ventures have been a success, the poor communication has become a deal-breaker.

You and I can create joy in our relationships by purposing to over-communicate.

Booked a meeting via email? Call the person! How many times have you thought, "Job done!" once you've pressed the 'send' button? How many times have you not received an email that someone claims they sent you?

How about this for an amazingly poignant quote from George Bernard Shaw?

"The biggest single problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place."

I say, "Guilty as charged, your Honour!"

Now, I'm more than happy to own up to my own ongoing failures in this area because

a) I'm taking action to change the habits that keep me missing the mark,

b) I'm putting back-up systems in place to support my good intentions, and

c) I only know of one person who's brilliant at this! (Thank you Stephen for being such a shining example of what is possible!)

If we adopt the wisdom of the three wise humans in relationships, we can do three amazing things to create magic:

· See the best in our partner, our friends, and our family at all times - assume the best!

· Hear the best about them - which means stopping people in their tracks if they are keen to gossip.

· Say only good things about others. Period.

None of the above negates the sensible need to do extensive due diligence on anyone you let into your circle of influence - that includes Facebook and LinkedIn invitations!

I decide firmly that I will embark on the good habits of see, hear, say only the best in and of people I know and meet.

I decide firmly to over-communicate - to confirm and reconfirm - just as I resolve, right here, right now to back-up my computer!

Lex

A Moodscope member.