"We must first show compassion to ourselves before we can truly show it to others" Dan Millman

For many of us who are our worst critics - this can be the key to an improved, happier and even depression free future.

How do we become OK about ourselves though?

It reminds me of that great book 'I'm Ok, you're OK' by Thomas A Harris, which is one of the best selling self-help books ever published. It is a practical guide to Transactional Analysis as a method for solving problems in life. From its first publication in 1967 it is now estimated to have sold over 15 million copies.

It reveals how we are often triggered into behaving the way we do, which can often be unhealthy for us. This leads to the key to almost all positive change - self-awareness.

I have a 'cycle' which I believe is at least ninety per cent of all change which starts with that one essential in all growth - self-awareness. That shift of perspective that so often opens so many doors, we didn't even know were there!

Increased Self-awareness leads to increased Self-control leads to increased Self-esteem leads to increased Self-actualisation and of course back to the next level of Self-awareness again, as the learning and growth cycle never ends! This is a cycle of 'planets', which has at its centre Self-respect - just like the sun at the centre of our constellation - we all circle around it and are totally affected by it!

Are you in summer or winter in your cycle...and here we can control our 'seasons'.

Just as depression takes us down the dark cold reverse journey, as our core of self-respect drops, leading to a downward winter spiral into darkness, reducing all the four 'selfs', a shift in self-awareness can lead us up and out of that troubled 'C' of criticism, consternation and confusion.

How is that all important self talk in your head?

Do you focus on that one piece of feedback out of 100 that is negative?

Are you triggered by a totally inoffensive comment?

Become more self aware of why that is.

So today - how can you be more compassionate to yourslef?

Write a list - get it 'out there' and then follow it through...change...follow a new 'cycle.