I have been a member of Moodscope for a while and have found some comfort in accessing this website.

Today I stretch out for more comfort, please can I have a double dose.

I am a parent (mother) to a young man (19 yrs old), who is a severe self harmer. Severe is putting it politely.

He has been in a secure hospital for a number of years and I have lost count of the amount of hospital admissions and operations he has had.

As a parent, thinking you are going to have to say good bye to your beautiful and troubled son is in describable. I thought the first time would be the worst but I was proved wrong. Every time is a trauma.

I now sit here as he is waiting for news of another operation - he has damaged his arm so badly that he has lost use of it and they are deciding whether to operate to repair it or remove the arm - a trauma in itself.

I do not want sympathy but I do need wise words to try and work through the above and continue to be the mum I am.

I'm not a victim, I'm a survivor but today a struggling one.

Michelle x

A Moodscope user.