Last weekend I was in Hereford, singing Mozart’s Requiem. It’s about thirty years since I’ve sung with a choir, and I was shocked to find out how bad I’ve become at reading music. The first time through I was useless and kept getting left behind – relying on the lovely lady next to me to show me where we were in the score and taking my note from her. The second time through was better and the third time through I had nearly got it – except the third time through was the actual performance!

The whole point of the exercise though, was singing for fun. It was a chance for people to get together to sing a big work, regardless of whether they normally sing with a choir or not. Some people there on Saturday didn’t even know if they were a bass or a tenor, a soprano or an alto.

And it was fun, even though I was much worse at it than I thought I would be.

It made me think about all the things I don’t do because I’m just no good at them.

Skiing comes to mind. The only time I’ve been skiing, on a dry ski slope, I was terrible. I am the only person they ever had who tumbled head over heels, right off the slope and landed the bramble patch upside down. That was the first and last time I’ve been skiing. My family all love it, however, and so perhaps I should think about joining them next winter. I could be the only adult learning to ski with all the little children.

I think there are two reasons why we don’t like to do the things we’re no good at. The first is that we are afraid of embarrassing ourselves and being laughed at – or worse, causing other people inconvenience. The lady beside me on Saturday was inconvenienced by my ineptitude and I am sorry for that. I’m sure she would have enjoyed it far more if she had a competent singer next to her. The second reason is that we just don’t get joy from incompetence.

Yet, if we’re learning, then we need to go through various stages. The first is unconscious incompetence, when we just don’t know that we can’t do something. Then, there’s conscious incompetence, when you realise just how bad you are. The next stage is conscious competence, when you can do something, but you have to think about it. Hopefully, we get to the final stage of unconscious competence. Think about learning to drive a car, for instance. Before you learn, driving looks easy. Once you start lessons, you realise how hard it is. Then you pass your test and you’re let loose on the roads, but you need to concentrate all the time. And, at some point, you realise you’ve driven all the way home and can’t remember any of the journey because you were thinking of something else. That is unconscious competence.

We never get better at something unless we practise. I need to practise my singing again and perhaps learn to ski (incompetently). Or just learn to enjoy doing things badly.

Mary

A Moodscope member