When is an apology a non-apology or an ifpology? 

I call myself the queen of sorry as I am always saying sorry whether things are my fault or not. Years ago I wrote a blog about saying sorry.

What about people who never apologise as they think they are right all the time or who only apologise because they must apologise.

We have heard politicians and PR people telling us “I'm sorry you feel that way" or “I am sorry you took offence to my words which were never intended to offend” This is a non-apology apology. It does not admit there was anything wrong with the remarks or behaviour.

The expression “Mistakes were made” " is often used where a speaker admits an incident was handled incorrectly but seeks to sidestep any responsibility by talking in the passive voice. The declaration of "mistakes" is framed in a vague way with no actual naming of the person.

When people say things like “I am sorry if I offended anyone”, “I am sorry if people were offended by my joke when I was being funny”. This is an ifpology.

I think many of us know people who have apologised without really apologising. Years ago, for family harmony I said, “I am sorry if you took offence from my words.”

so I could end an in-law ignoring me and making family functions awkward.

Do you think people who say sorry too much or people who never say sorry, can learn to change their behaviour or is it too hard?

How do you cope with people you know who never apologise or who use an no apology or an ifpology?

Leah

A Moodscope member.