Don't you think that coming out of a bout of depression is very like the transition from Winter to Spring? Do you ever feel like a new Spring flower bursting with startling colour?
I've always liked snowdrops best, they're so graceful, a lovely nod towards Spring with the subtle white of the previous season's snow. But sometimes I feel like the crocus or aconite, startling myself with a new brightness. Of course there are times when the bout doesn't lift so easily and I'd rather stay under the depths of snow.
When the darkness is lifting from my mind and body I can be taken by surprise by a feeling of love or happiness. It floods my body and reassures me that I'm feeling well and that some better times are on the way. Starting to feel something again, some days better than others, a creeping back into brighter times and a leaving behind of the numbness of Winter cold and blank mood. Like the weather, a string of good days can be broken by a sudden dark day too.
Last weekend, we had two days of sunshine and warmth. We could feel Winter creeping away and start to look forward to better weather and longer days. Myself and my family were pottering in the garden, spring cleaning the garage and the shed, the children were reacquainting themselves with their forgotten outdoor toys and their bodies, stretching out and running around the garden like Spring lambs.
I took myself off for a little run as the afternoon was coming to an end. Men were out in their gardens, clearing up hedge cuttings, washing their cars; re-marking their territory. Some were lighting their BBQs (a bit premature I thought as the wind was starting to pick up and the temperature dropping rapidly!) to send smoke signals out to their neighbourhood, bringing friends together. Washing hung out on lines like flags to show people are home and up and out and I felt the hopefulness of a new season taking over me.
As I start to feel better, I too come out of hibernation and start to signal to friends that I'm coming back, it's a new season, the darkness is lifting and I'm looking forward to some better days. The days too will feel longer and maybe I'll accomplish more each new day. And what comes after Spring? Summer. There is always hope of even brighter days.
A Moodscope member.