Stood at the kitchen window watching the rain running down the window in hundreds of tiny rivers, my eldest son working in the garden despite the rain content to be active, my mind strays back to years gone by when on rainy days me and the children would snuggle on the sofa one huge pile of arms and legs a big blanket wrapped around us watching back to back Disney films.

Those days long behind us now, not just because we won't all fit on the sofa or because the rainy days have stopped, life has simply moved on, my children all but grown, my eldest living at the opposite end of the country and my youngest at that awkward teenage stage where watching movies with mum is not cool. I feel a sense of loss for those years and an emptiness descends letting my my children grow and stretch their wings of independence is one of the hardest thing I have had to face.

I sigh and set of to walk the dog much to his displeasure at going out in the rain. On my return I'm greeted at the door with first my youngest "Mum, I can't find my phone charger." A shout from upstairs "Is that mum? Tell her I need my jeans for work please." My daughter from the kitchen "Mum do you want a brew?" A few minutes later my eldest bounding in through the back door "Mum come tell me what you think, I've built you two planters in the garden."

I smile and laugh aloud, I guess I needn't have worried, they still need me but in different ways now.

Mandie

A Moodscope member.