A year ago something burst in my home life which caused me to swerve off my path. I’m a slow burn and I wouldn’t say enough time has passed for me to have fully digested it yet, or fully recover. But if I look back a year then progress has indeed been made. 

I no longer travel to counselling appointments by taxi, hiding from public transport because I know I shouldn’t sit on a bus with tears pouring down my face. I no longer find myself staring into space and then wonder how long I’ve been sitting that way. I no longer feel broken, splintered but not broken.  

I do feel stuck. But I have made a certain peace with letting that meld and soften in its own time. When we are absolutely sick of ourselves being stuck then we make a change which can turn out to be solid and lasting. I’d prefer that to bungee-changes.  

Today I’m sitting on a bus heading to town, the sun is warming me through the window and I am not crying. The blossom is bursting on the trees like hot kernels of popcorn. I have something for tea and my children love me. Life does not feel 100% stable but it is good enough. And today I even feel a bit happy.  

Love from 

The room above the garage

A Moodscope member