Does anyone else get this? That feeling of "meh" even though the day starts with good intentions and instead of Mary, there's something about Sunday, there really is.
My second in a row where I've been in tears, frustrated and totally unhappy with myself. A simple disagreement over scrambled egg (yes really) was what how it started. Calligraphy then threw itself into the mix, along with menopausal hormones and what came out was a very unattractive mix of poor me, I'm so stupid and why did I take this on? How come disagreements with other halves and the way they speak to you can escalate into depression. I should have known better.
Taking on this job when I have never attempted calligraphy was sure to be a challenge at the very least. Not having the right equipment didn't help and even sourcing it proved a problem. Then the paper... oh the paper... and on the fourth attempt (going well) I f***ed up a word. This was of course after attempt no 2 where I wrote "come" instead of "be" so I ended it with a f*** it before I binned it!! I can't change any words because it's a family poem handed down.
But it's not about calligraphy. It's about how you take on stuff that you shouldn't really (to be nice and also to be good at another thing hopefully). You see I LOVE compliments about my artwork but I hate failing, I hate not being in control and I hate not being perfect. So in a sense, like the calligraphy attempts I'm f***ed with this attitude. But I've had it since I was a stroppy teenager and habits are hard to break.
Logic tells me kindly "Liz, this is your first go". The idiot sits there for two hours in her dressing gown desperately trying to get it right. I have 3 weeks for my deadline but as I usually leave it to the nth hour, I didn't want to do that. So, off in a strop I went, beat myself about the head a bit (the odd slap here and there yes really, I told you I was hormonal) and then I made some chutney.... as you do.
Here's the other odd thing. When I start feeling meh, I go on Facebook and look up someone who isn't a friend (a few out there!) and pick someone who always looks amazingly happy and all the rest... and compare myself to her. The logical side of me says that a lot only put their best photos up but I'd love to know what you do if you get the Sunday Blues – are you a Facebook checker-outer (I know it's not good for me but it's addictive) and what is your recipe for life because mine sure isn't tasting good at present :0(. Oh, and could you do some calligraphy for me pretty please ;0)
A Moodscope member.