Reading how Mary passed on writing the Wednesday blog a few weeks ago made me happy. No, not in that way sillies. Mary’s posts are pure gold and an absolute joy to read. No, I was happy because it meant that Mary was taking care of herself. She made herself a priority, and that reminded me of something she once said to me. We were talking about giving up drinking and she said in order to succeed that it was important for me to do WHATEVER it takes to stay on the path. “Give yourself permission to rage, be alone, cry, whatever it takes to not drink...” Mary of course said it much more eloquently but hopefully I got the point across.
I have to be honest and say that I have not stopped drinking. I have been enjoying a glass of wine on the back patio in the warm evenings, listening to music, watching baby squirrels chase each other around the massive oak tree and marveling at the plants that have come up again this year (not a forgone conclusion, with my gardening skills). But I did start a wellness program about six weeks ago. I am now halfway through a 10k running program. I have lost a few pounds. I have taken the dog out for his morning walk almost every day. I had a visit with friends, then another, and yet another! I have been taking my medication and my vitamins and doing my back exercises regularly. I even scheduled an appointment with my therapist when a particular issue was bothering me. Things are not perfect. I know I have to quit drinking, and I have a divorce coming up. But for today I am content - dare I say proud - with taking care of myself.
I usually score a 0 on the Proud card, perhaps a 1 if nobody died as a direct result of my actions that day. I’ve thought that scoring higher on the Proud card should be for something really spectacular, like saving someone from a burning building. But perhaps I shall give myself a wee pat on the back for, like Mary, taking care of myself. My hope for you all today is that you find something to feel good about. Even if, especially if it’s just giving yourself permission to stay in bed and take care of yourself.
Lexi A Moodscope Member.