Like some of our other Moodscopers, I have had a big dip. It has resulted in me being signed off from work for four weeks and was a shock to the system. My attempt to come off antidepressants has failed.
So it’s taken me a week to calm down. My work had been so pressurised that I was working every hour that God sent me. Unfortunately my boss did not seem to worry about this. Despite my warnings that this wasn’t sustainable nothing was done.
I find myself now sleeping 10 hours during the night and 2 to 3 hours a day which shows that my brain and body were just totally worn out.
When I am low I often forget the lovely things that have happened during the year and so I have just spent an indulgent half hour going through the photos on my phone. When my brain tells me I have no friends, my photos on my phone show me otherwise. The last six months has been packed with happy times: dog walks with friends, visits to gardens with former colleagues, family meals in the sun and a trip to York with my youngest.
The chat in my brain has been negative. I have told myself that I am unloved, stupid and fat. The photos tell another story: indeed I have lots of friends who want to meet up with me, enjoy my company and care about me.
Yes the big dip has hit me and I am licking my wounds and coming to terms with the fact that I didn’t put myself first and therefore have worn myself out. But I have the evidence that life can be good again because it already has been this year.
What do you do to remind yourself of the good times and what makes you happy?