I love to send Christmas cards. Most of these are cards to people I know well and see often, but some of them contain our family newsletter – yes, we are that family that produces round robins at Christmas! These are sent to people we don’t see that often. Many of these people we haven’t seen for years, yet I still like to stay in touch.

This year, out of the blue, we got an invitation to the 25th wedding anniversary of a couple who we had only seen once in the twenty-five years since their wedding. The party was in Lancaster, four and a half hours’ drive away, and it would have been so easy to have politely declined the invitation.

Well, we went and I’m so glad we did. It was delightful to catch up with our friends and to meet up with others who are also on the round robin Christmas list. When I spoke to the son of my friends, he said, “Oh, I know about you: Mum reads out your letters to us all.” I don’t know if that was meant in a good or bad way, but at least it meant we had a starting point for the conversation.

Another friend we met there also knows me from this blog, so – if you’re reading this, you know who you are – and thank you for reading!

I’m glad we went, not just because we met up with old friends, but because it was one of life’s small celebrations which are vital to any community. Saying yes to these celebrations means joining life, espousing it and affirming it. It’s good for us to say yes.

Saying yes can result in more than just renewing connections. My husband once decided on a year of saying yes to all social invitations. He faithfully kept this resolution, though it was challenging. In fact, he very nearly said no to the weekend at which he met me! Twenty-six years and two daughters later, I very much hope he doesn’t regret saying yes to that particular invitation!

Saying no is equally important. I was recently asked to take on two roles. One was the flower arranging in church. I have never arranged a single flower. When given flowers by some well-meaning guest, I search blindly around for a jug and just stick them in. Flower arranging is not in my skill set. Saying no to that was easy. Less easy was saying no to the position of treasurer. I have an accountancy qualification, and I have the time to do the job. But I absolutely don’t want to. When nobody else is stepping forward, it’s hard to say no. I did say no, however, and am so glad I did. The role of treasurer would weigh heavy. And it left me free to say yes to something else which I’m very much looking forward to.

What things do you think are important to say “Yes” to, and when have you said “No” and been glad?

Mary

A Moodscope member