[If you’d like to watch and listen to today’s blog post on Youtube, Lex has recorded a version for you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s2SBjfQ4bp8]

The seemingly sexist Minister declared, boldly, that he would reveal - in three words - why so many marriages failed. Armed with a huge marker pen and a flip chart, he surveyed the congregation with a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

“The downfall begins with the Wedding Service itself,” he said, almost shouting as if to incite a mob.
“What do you walk down to get to the place where you will make and take your vows?”
“The Aisle!” shouts one braver member of the gathered!
“Yes!” says the preacher. “Now, what do you stop in front of?” he continues as he is writing, ‘Aisle’ on the flip chart. He clearly wants to keep up a racy pace!
Another lifts their voice to shout, “The Altar!”
“Perfect!” says he, as he writes in huge letters the word ‘Altar’ beneath ‘Aisle’.
“Finally, what do you sing as a congregation as the happy couple stand before the Altar?
This time several voices are raised, their voices overlapping as they shout, “A Hymn!”
Dancing with delight that his trap has been sprung, the Vicar (for it was he!) almost sings, “Yes! Yes!! YES!!!” as he attacks the flip chart with the final word, ‘Hymn’ – almost sending the unstable piece of instructional furniture flying (because any Presenter knows that flip charts are notoriously dangerous.)

Leering around the congregation, his eyes fall upon a particularly outspoken female member of the throngregation, Ms Edith MacKay. (‘Edith’s Edicts’ as the Congregational members privately called them, were infamous and often defamous pronunciations on many and any of the subjects of Edith’s acerbic wit.)
“Ah, Ms MacKay” he spits, “You are well-known for ‘telling it as it is’, aren’t you?”
Edith smiles, thinking this is a compliment. A knowing grin spreads throughout the congregation like yeast causing the dough to rise…
“Would you mind standing up and reading these three words?”
Delighted, she rises, and says with excellent and precise diction:
“Aisle Altar Hymn…”
Ripples of giggles spread as more and more people get it, until…
Ms MacKay slaps her hand over her mouth, and gasps. Then furiously storms out of the church, knowing she has been used to make a point.

The Vicar, knowing that there will be hell to pay later, grins like a schoolboy at the congregation, delighted with his prank.
“Yes, ‘I’ll alter him,’ – that’s the Wedding Service – and that’s where the trouble starts!”
…..

Of course, gender is irrelevant. Whether it be Adam to Eve, or Eve to Adam, Adam to Adam, or Eve to Eve, or Eve to Cain… NO one can ever change anyone else.

We can only change ourselves.

But change we must.

Lex

A Moodscope member