Today I was travelling along the south Spanish coast and it was explained to me that the original towns, which we could clearly see, were built up on the hillside, away from the flat coastline (a pueblo).

These old towns with their white walls, sat just before the hills became mountains. And here we were travelling along the motorway down on the flat coastline, which, in safety, is now built up with thousands of modern living accommodation and shops next to the water.

Now, it was explained, the reason for the hillside locations, was because in the old days, the villages did this to be protected from water travelling pirates, who would easily be seen landing and coming up the hills.

This situation, then made me think of how we behave and communicate as modern day human beings.

If we perceive there is danger, we kind of shut up shop and retreat 'in' rather than 'up'. Or maybe we do retreat 'up' – away from our heart and any real EQ connection, into our safer IQ head.

Maybe many of us, due to past 'pirates', actually start from 'up the hillside' as the early villagers did. We feel we may always be in danger and thus do not come down to the area where most people are – we may never show our true self to possible new companions, for fear of being 'attacked' or let down as before!

I wonder how many of us do not openly show our vulnerability, by waiting on the shores to welcome new comers; we keep our distance and still today, remain untrusting! And yet how many of us truly wish to meet someone we can be authentically open with and thus have healing and positive intimate conversations?

And don't forget – who is the only person you can change? Yup... yourself.

So, what do WE have to do?

Come down from our heads in the hills? Take more risks to wait on the shore? Show more of ourselves to offer safety to others? Show others (our children?) that it is safe to play in the water simply being mindful of the risks?

All too often we say we want better, more authentic relationships and yet we 'say' it – we often don't act on it!

Where are you between shore and hill?

Look at each relationship you have and give it a score between shore 10 and hill 0. (do it intuitively and it'll take seconds.) Where would you like each to be? It's mainly up to you.

OK, since only you can change yourself, are you going to take the risk in those once dangerous shoreline waters and possible past pirates, who may now just be people?

Les

A Moodscope member.