It has taken me around 3 years of receiving and appreciating the Moodscope blog posts before I have found the courage to send one of my own.

I have had depression, with the ups and downs that come with it, for around 25 years now. Throughout this time I have tried many, many different coping mechanisms. From the safe and reliable medication and counselling, to the not so safe self medicating with alcohol and cake! Hypnotherapy is what did it for me in the end. It somehow changed my thought processes and now I have been in a calm and steady place for a good few years. This does not, however, mean that I don't have bad days. 

On these days the temptation is to go back to the wine and let it lull me to sleep, but, as we all know, this has lasting consequences and is not the quick fix I would like it to be! Instead I reach for Audible and allow Stephen Fry to read Harry Potter and lull me to sleep. I don't know whether it is the calm and soporific sound of his voice, or the repetition of a story I have read many times but it does work. Last night it took a few hours but the thoughts that wanted to keep coming stayed away as I made myself focus on what I was listening to.

Today I am tired, but I am not irritable, anxious or angry with myself, which I would be had I used my old crutch. This is a crutch that will hopefully keep working for years to come.

Lucy

A Moodscope member.