The quite loud one

18 Nov 2022
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At the place where I volunteer people commented on something I had said, and they said “It’s always the quiet ones.” I had to look around to make sure it was me they were talking about. 

I have never seen myself as quiet or be seen by others except when I was depressed. When depressed I found it hard to say one word and I avoided situations where I may have to talk.

I was known as a chatter box all through my school years. My reports were full of comments that if I put the same amount of effort into my studies as I did into my talking, I would be a top student.

My mother told me I was vaccinated with a gramophone needle. I was too young to even understand what that meant. People have said to me “Do I have an off button.”

Of course, when I was manic, I did not stop even when asleep. I was loud opinionated, rude, interrupted and talked over people.

So, when I am seen as the quite timid one, I am confused because it is not how I see myself.

I wonder if how others see us affects how we see ourselves. We all have different sides to our personality and some people may only see one side.

Has someone ever described you in a way that doesn’t fit in to how you would describe yourself?

Does this make you think, or do you accept you may be viewed differently by other people than how you see yourself?

Leah 

A Moodscope member

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