I have become a bit of a stranger on Moodscope of late. And perhaps to myself too. Let me explain…
Since May, we have known that we are moving and the date is coming round at the beginning of September. I'm also changing jobs to become fully self employed so working out notice. We are also awaiting a change in our financial circumstances for the better, which is probably going to take the longest due to probate. I've also been adapting to all of the above, by adopting a different way of thinking which involves minimal stress and taking each day as it comes, and each challenge in turn rather than letting anxiety have full reign on my emotions and wellbeing.
The funerals have been quiet, which has been a blessing as it meant I could hand in my notice in my cleaning job and start up a home help business as my second income. I love it! I have seven clients that I work with and I could not be happier.
We are moving into a bungalow with a far bigger and semi-established garden. It does need some bits and pieces done but is far more straightforward than this house we are currently in. So with the help of some different thinking, medication and living in the moment, those aspects that stressed me out before I hope are a memory and if and when they come back, I will be better equipped to deal with them.
To just roll with the punches is not something I was used to, hence the being a stranger to myself comment. I would crumble at the small things and manage the bigger ones much better – which to me is unusual. The one thing that is challenging me is that my lovely husband is quite a hoarder (although he says he is a collector) and wants to take most things to the other house and then sort through which I think is not the way to manage it. However, I am not going to argue and fight which is counter-productive. I don't know whether it is the ageing process but I am less quick to anger. However, I have been prone to irritability and also fatigue.
Last Friday I was, as usual, going in to my cleaning job (after home help) and even though it is less hours, and just two places, I could not get into motion. I was sighing, complaining and muttering to myself even though I have given a very generous seven weeks' notice (partly because I am covering for four weeks holiday) and for my boss, as she has always been so nice to me... and I get a nice wee pay packet at the end.
But I do hate being in limbo but also don't want to wish my life away. And as a classic over-thinker, I can't take too much on in my head and there is already so much information overload that one could take on. However, now I choose to be kind to myself and manage my boundaries which I think is a strength and one that I have been very bad at managing in the past.