Faster and faster...

Looking around

everything blurs

laying in bed.

Faster and faster...

Lying in the middle of a maelstrom

trying to get hold of a friend

but I just pull them down.

Faster and faster...

Where does it go?

When will it stop?

Will it destroy me instead?

Faster and faster...

Hoping for some certainty

a fraction of security

a tiny bit of love.

Faster and faster...

Refusing drugs to slow it down

feeling alive while close to death

waiting for the crash.

Slower...

This time I got out

panting, but alive

how long can this go on?

Slower...

I have analysed myself

tried to prevent things like this

none of my dams have held.

Slower...

Where has my discipline gone?

Should I embrace my mental chains again?

Can I ever feel emotion, intimacy, love?

Slower...

Freedom may be too dangerous

though it is only freedom of mind

the feeling thrills but is threatening.

Slower...

I patch up the wreck of my battered mind

setting sail again

seeking the next cliff to shatter on.

I shout out LOUD

THIS IS NOT GOING TO TAKE ME DOWN

IT IS FEEBLE, WEAK AND PUNY

I WILL PREVAIL

AM GOING TO BEAT IT DOWN

AM RESISTANT, HARD AND CAPABLE

A sound ship again

the HMS Me

I come out of the storm.

Richard

A Moodscope member.